Depending on the length of the relationship or how serious things were can have two different effects on guys when dealing with a break up. So too can your role in regards to whether or not you were the dumpee or the dumper as in many cases the person who’s doing the dumping may have mentally checked out of the relationship awhile ago while waiting for the right time to officially cement the end. In either case, however, there’s plenty of things that many newly single people will do that can end any chance of reconciliation, irritate their friends, or just be in poor taste that any true gentleman should avoid.
1. Social Media Posting
Going both ways, for both dumpee and dumper, taking to social media rarely turns out to be a good idea, even if you’ve gone ahead and blocked your ex and her friends from seeing what you’re saying. In part because you never know if she’s going to be asking about how you’re doing in case she runs in to your friends later on down the road (and, no matter how much you trust them to not say anything, a slip up or even just them thinking that they’re helping doesn’t always work), but also because you’re typically going through a stage where you’re back to trying to rediscover who you are.
And, in all honesty, this period can easily become annoying.
Sure, you may be enjoying the single life as well as going out and meeting new people. Or maybe you’ll be feeling sad and needing an outlet with Facebook being the usual go to. Same thing with any anger you may be feeling. All of which are natural reactions. However, if you don’t think someone who’s looking to hire you for a job would be interested in seeing it, more than likely, it’s not necessarily worth sharing.
At least not publicly.
Instead, find a couple friends willing to listen to you, and a couple of friends that you can trust to not say anything. Often enough, they’re the people that you have also helped in the past, whether through a break up of their own, or even something as small as moving and invest in spending more time with them. Not only will they be the people that can help get your mind off the break up, but they’ll also be the people that are willing to listen to you when you need someone to talk to.
Both physical and social media stalking.
Assuming that you were together long enough for the break up to have taken a toll, she’s going to know what kind of car you drive and if she happens to see it parked somewhere in the neighborhood, not only will it pretty much kill any chances of you two reconciling things, but it could very easily lead to a restraining order.
And, if you happen to live in the same area, it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to move as running into her accidentally can either be interpreted as being weird, or could potentially bring back emotions that you thought you were getting past.
Not to mention, if you happen to accidentally like one of her photos or a post, it just means that she’s going to think you’re still looking at her pages when she’s either trying to get over you or expecting that you should be trying to do the same.
3. Going Out and Looking for a Rebound
Sure, your friend may be sitting there and saying that you just need to go out and find someone else to help get you past the emotions that you were feeling before, but doing so could just end up having the opposite reaction as it could just make you wish that you were still with the girl you were with before and didn’t have to go around playing pick up games that typically come with the beginnings of relationships.
Considering that it’s also likely that you’re in a bit more of an emotional state as well, it’s also less likely that you’ll be able to find that rebound person simply because you’re likely going to be coming off as a little more desperate or a little less smooth than you typically would have. Especially if you’re finding that most of the stories you’re sharing to make yourself seem more interesting tend to involve your ex.
Additionally, even if we do something with the intention of it staying private, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to remain behind closed doors. Something which isn’t a bad thing to consider whenever going through a more difficult time.
So, even if it is a bit more emotional, it’s also worthwhile to question if what we’re doing would take away from our dignity in any other situation. If so, think differently. Invest more time with those who are likely to have a positive impact on your growth as a person. And use the time to not only get stuck looking back to things that didn’t work, but looking forward to those that can.
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